The Enneagram: A Map for Traveling Beyond the Three Lies
The Enneagram Symbol
What is the Enneagram?
The Enneagram is a map of nine archetypes (or ‘types’) of human character structure. It offers a pathway for transformation that increases our awareness and compassion. Following the pathway allows us to take a deeper look at our patterns of attention and underlying beliefs, ultimately freeing us from the confines of three significant lies we believe to be true. The Enneagram clarifies the distinction between our ego and our essence, helping us see and value both.
The Enneagram has a fascinating, multicultural history. The word comes from the Greek, ennea (nine) and grammos (something drawn or written), and evidence of the symbol dates back to 600 BCE. But the “traditional” Enneagram, associated with the 9 types, only became known in the U.S. in the 1970s, brought here by Chilean-born Claudio Naranjo, who studied with Bolivian-born Oscar Ichazo.
Though many people refer to the Enneagram as a personality test, this phrase is limiting and therefore inaccurate. Personality tests often box in rather than liberate; they often encourage people to explain or excuse rather than get curious.
By contrast, the Enneagram is a framework that reveals ways we unwittingly box ourselves in with patterns that are often unconscious. Learning the Enneagram can support us in turning blind spots into opportunities to grow and develop; the map sheds light on our habits of thought, attention, and behavior—and reminds us we have choices.
As part of the human condition, we all have blind spots: things we cannot see about ourselves, things we don’t know we don’t know. How we grew up informed which blind spots we developed. As humans, we are wired to avoid pain, so we figured out ways to “make it” through whatever was difficult in our childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. Those “make it” strategies shaped what we pay attention to in the world and how we make sense of it. They are connected to what we learned about how to survive and thrive.
Learning the map of the Enneagram provides a vast amount of information about our habits and “make it” strategies; it makes the unconscious, conscious. With the shift to consciousness, we can act with greater wisdom and compassion. So, knowing one’s type is just the opposite of being boxed in or leaning on “this is just how I am.” Learning to see with greater clarity how our egos operate empowers us to move beyond the confines of them.
A Personal Example of Growing Awareness
My Enneagram core type is point 3, often associated with the words achiever or performer.
In my early years, I learned that success meant earning recognition through achievement. Performing well became my “make it” strategy through some difficult times in my family. I learned to be the good girl with good news, and this way of being/coping became part of my identity. Throughout my first few decades of adulthood, I continued achieving goal after lofty goal.
Once I had the lens of the Enneagram and understood what it meant to “lead with type 3,” I started to notice some not-so-pretty automatic habits: working a lot as a way of “proving” myself, staying task-focused as a method for not feeling too much, curating my image, and avoiding sharing anything that I considered “ugly” about myself.
Though I didn’t like seeing these truths, with this increased awareness, I began to make more intentional choices. I slowed down significantly. I let myself feel all of my emotions, even the dark, angry, scary ones. I talked about my inner world more freely with others, ugly bits and all. I started to believe that I didn’t have to prove or earn my worthiness.
Which brings us to the distinction between ego and essence and the role of the three lies.
Ego, Essence, and The Three Lies
Dutch writer Henri Nouwen identified “three human lies” we believe about our identity—what he referred to as our False Self:
I am what I do.
I am what I have.
I am what other people say or think about me.
These lies strengthen our ego and mask our essence. We need our ego. It protects us, and we developed it over time for that reason…because we can’t live in essence all the time. So, if these lies, or patterns of thought sound familiar…well then, you must be human. :)
Though each one of us travels a unique path, we share a common human pursuit to develop our character. And one way we do this is by investigating our essence—who we are beyond the three lies. Nouwen called this the pursuit of our True Self. At some point in life, most people become less interested in “polishing their mask” and more interested in the quality of their character. This is a marker of spiritual growth.
Of the many terms: personality, ego, False Self —“mask” strikes me most, because it is so tangible. And though I can see my mask more clearly now, it is still hard to stop polishing it. I find myself with a rag in hand regularly.
The Enneagram, more than any tool for self-awareness I’ve yet discovered, helps me pause, observe myself polishing, and recognize that I have the choice to come back to essence. Over and over, I practice the pause, broaden my awareness, and notice when I’m operating from habitual egoic patterns...which leads to making more conscious choices that generate connection and compassion instead.
When groups, teams, and communities use the Enneagram as a common framework and step into collective conscious awareness, visible shifts occur in communication and collaboration, helping people achieve goals with greater joy, grace, and ease.
The Invitation
Explore the Enneagram. Whether you’re new to the journey, familiarizing yourself with the map again, or diving into deeper layers of the system, let it open you to reflecting on who you are beyond what you do, what you have, and what others think. Learning to see with greater clarity how your ego operates empowers you to move beyond the confines of it.
Here’s to the delicious journey, using the Enneagram as a pathway to transformation.
I offer gratitude to the Enneagram community and my many teachers. None of the wisdom above is mine; it is part of the collective. I am particularly indebted to The Narrative Enneagram ,my mentor, Sandra Smith of Alchemy Works, and Integrative Enneagram. Thanks to C. Heuertz for introducing me to the notion of the three lies.