Reflecting and Respecting
Re-
What a beautiful prefix. Its meanings: again, back, anew. A friend of mine quipped recently, “September is the real January,” and I wholeheartedly agree. This is a natural time of reset for many of us, a time of new beginnings. At least where I live, the seasonal change is more dramatic, as is the shift in life habits. This is a perfect time to look again, to go back, to see anew.
The period of time between August 28 and September 16 is liminal space for me each year. My dear friend and mentor Seana Lowe Steffen celebrated 50 years of life on August 28, 2017...and died just 19 days later. Today marks that anniversary. On her 50th birthday, she wore a paper crown, sat cross legged on the floor playing games with the kids, sang, laughed from a deep space, and closed her eyes to enjoy those first few bites of birthday cake, the taste of love more pronounced than any other flavor. Then—suddenly—she was gone from Earth.
Meanwhile, Only to Grow came into existence on September 1st of that same year, and Seana was instrumental in its birth. She was the friend who most strongly encouraged me to cross the bridge into this new journey, this new phase of my own development. So, each year I take a significant pause in this window of time to look back and look forward, and I have come to think of as “Reflecting and Respecting.”
Roots
“Flection,” or flexion, means to bend or bend back, and a familiar notion of reflection is a surface bending back unabsorbed light. Reflection is not simply an action of recall; instead, reflection is the creation of a new image; reflection reveals a new way to see something.
And when we go to the roots of respect, it means to look again, to see again. Respect does not mean tolerating or keeping quiet or going along; rather, to respect is to consciously rekindle our curiosity; pause; become willing to look at something—whether it be a person, a group, a situation—with greater openness and awareness.
And now I return to my roots:
I believe that to be human is to have the opportunity to continually develop throughout our lives. All adults do not choose a path of growth, but most have the option. How adults develop is of profound interest to me, and it is what led me to found Only to Grow three years ago, serving as a coach and consultant for individuals, teams, and organizations, focusing on leadership development founded on core values of vitality, community, and contribution.
Yes, and…
Each year on this anniversary, I’ve asked myself: do these imperfect words still describe what I care about? So far, the answer has been yes. This year, the answer is “Yes, and...”
There are two aspects that are lacking:
an emphasis on the natural world
a clear commitment to equity and inclusion, including an unequivocal anti-racist stance
I also know the next phase of my own development invites me to focus, tap into my inborn need to love and create, and to have confidence to build what I can see with my heart.
Intention
I’m cultivating some long-term goals, and one of them has to do with tweaking the Vital Signs blog posts.
For the next year, I’m going to do more writing. I’ll post two entries per month, which will focus on linking an aspect of the natural world with consciousness and contribution. Over time, my goal is to compile a seasonal weekly reader, a book with the tentative title: Vital Signs - Living Well in Ourselves and the World. Each post will include an approachable invitation—an opportunity to practice something small and specific, not just think about it.
If you feel excited about continuing to receive Vital Signs in your inbox, I’m honored, and I always welcome your reactions, questions, and feedback. If you want to help me grow my influence and reach, please invite a friend to subscribe at: https://www.onlytogrow.com/vital-signs.
Invitation
If you, too, feel ripe for reflecting and respecting in this season, I invite you to look again, with fresh eyes, at how you’re describing what you’re up to in the world. What still feels right? What is missing or not so fitting anymore? What’s one longer-term goal you feel energized by? Tell someone! And if it helps to write it down or capture it in some other form of expression, do that too.
Honoring
On this day, it feels right to end with a nod to just a few of my many teachers and beacons of inspiration:
Seana Steffen, always and forever.
Barron Steffen, who published the profound book The Final Gift of the Beloved, chronicling his experience of Seana’s disappearance and the 13 days that followed her death.
My family - each one so dear.
All whom I’ve had the fortune of connecting with via Only to Grow…the journeys of work and learning together have been deep.
Soul sister Janine Gomez, who just successfully launched I Dream Public Charter School in Washington D.C. (just imagine starting a school serving 3-7 year-olds right now…)
Anne Bossert, who devotes her life to beauty and creating functional and whimsical art and is masterful at helping me see things freshly.
Sandra Smith, gifted Enneagram teacher, wise soul, and spiritual guide, Sandra has served as my mentor since May of last year, walking me all the way through my journey to become certified as an Enneagram teacher in the Narrative Tradition. I am empowered and emboldened, and I am softened.